Eyelashes

Dear Eyelashes,
I would love to save time in the morning by not having to use my eyelash curler..but, alas, you just keep growing stick straight and hang in my eyes. Just wait until they develop perms for facial hair!
Love,
Lynna

College Commercials

Dear Kaplan University Commercials,
You have the most annoying presence on TV. I would rather stare at a blank screen for those 47 seconds.
Love,
Lynna

Blisters

Dear Blisters,
There are other ways to let me know that my feet don't like new shoes. You are dismissed.
Love,
Lynna

Veins

Dear Veins,
Thanks for ruining strapless dresses for me. Either you should stop being so blue or my skin should stop being so see through, but one thing is for sure: you so visibly wrapping around my shoulders and chest is not so pretty.
Love,
LyNnA

Nightmares

Dear Nightmares,
I am not five years old anymore.. I have outgrown you so you must stop interrupting my sleep.
Love,
7ynna

Love Handles

Dear Love Handles,
Don't be fooled by your own name; we took a poll: no one loves you.
Love,
Lynna

Facial Hair

Dear Lady Facial Hair,
There is no better explanation for being dateless on a Friday night and friendless. Thanks.
Love,
Lynna

Gums

Dear Receding Gums,
Do you just love the dentist and sensodyne? The more you recede, the more I have unprotected, sensitive areas of my teeth. You hurt me.
Love,
Lynna

Sun

Dear Sun,
It is quite the elaborate prank you pull giving people a beautiful glow in their youth and then turning into a leathery disaster of skin. I hope having the last laugh is very satisfying for you.
Love,
Annyl

Contacts

Dear Contacts,
Oh, how you toy with me! Such a blessing to give me sight but then just rip whenever you wish. You walk a fine line between love and hate.
Love,
Lynna

Broom

Dear Broom,
I like that you actually make more of a mess than you clean up. Not good, buddy.
Love,
Lynna

Washer

Dear Washing Machine,
You kind of smell like pee...what happened there? I am not so appreciative of the very distinct aroma you have left on the last load of clothes...
Love,
Lynna

Power Outage

Dear Power Outage,
You make me sad, and then angry when I realize I have no idea where we keep the flashlights.
Love,
L***a

Soapscum

Dear Soapscum,
I think we would have a more positive relationship if you weren't so clearly stupid. You are soap. You are meant to clean. Why you scum up my bathtub, brat?
Love,
Lynna

Acne

Dear Acne,
NO one likes YOU. Ok, maybe some dermatologists, but that's not saying much.
Love,
Lynna

Plaid Shorts

Dear Plaid Shorts,
When are you going to go out of style?? Soon, please.
Love,
Lynna

Eye Boogers

Dear Eye Boogers (or "sleep"),
You are kind of awkward, especially on a day I decided to wear tons of eyeliner.
Love,
Lynna

Uterus

Dear Uterus,
Are you trying to win the contest for cramp star of the year? Cause...you did...along with the prize for being the most debilitating part of my day. Ugh.
Love,
Lynna

Earring hole

Dear Earring Hole,
What is happening inside of you? When I change my earrings and that smells come out, I seriously want to puke.
Love,
Lynn.....a?

Sweat

Dear Sweat,
You really kill my lady-like image... Thanks for cooling me down, but could you figure out a way to run down the INSIDE of my body?
Love,
Lynna

Straps

Dear Purse StrapS,
I understand your purpose, but I hate when there are two of you on one purse - one of you is ALWAYS falling down! It's probably my fault how psychotically irritated I get about the whole situation, but whatever.
Love,
Lynna