Cowlick

Dear Cowlicks,
You are aggravating.
I hate when you taunt me by pretending to be defeated by hairspray and then five minutes later, popping out your ugly presence again.
You watch me train you with my bobby pins and we shall see who gets the last laugh.
Probably you. CURSES.
Love,
Lynna

Fivehead

Dear fivehead,
You know what you are...not attractive.
Love,
Lynna

Potholes

Dear Potholes,
You damage my car and thus damage my spirit.
Love,
Lynna

Allergies

Dear Allergies,
You bother my sinuses and then I get headaches and am very unpleasant to be around. You make me feel like crap and then act crappy towards others. You are the catalyst to a vicious cycle.
You are a bully.
Love,
L

Flu

Dear Flu,
You weren't invited. Please leave. Take your upchuck reflex with you.
Love,
Lynna

Eczema

Dear Eczema,
You are gross, itchy, burny, ugly, and generally not very nice.
Love,
Lynna

Mind

Dear Mind,
I bet you're with the missing sock, huh? I miss you.
Love,
Lynna

Memory

Dear Memory,
Why have you betrayed me? You were not supposed to run away from me for a few more decades.
Love,
Lynna

Dust

Dear Dust,
Stop accumulating!
Love,
Lynananana