White woodwork

Dear white woodwork,
You proudly display dust, dirt, fingerprints, smudges, dings, paint drippings, etc. It fills me with rage.
Love,
Lynna

Thorn bushes

Dear thorn bushes,
Do you really have to just hang out so close to the mailboxes at the post office? Your branches come out so far and hang over your allotted area and you make me nervous every time I drive up to drop off mail. I don't think my car would look very cute with scratches running along my driver's side doors.
Love,
L-ynna

Fingers

Dear short, stubby fingers,
You are so irritatingly uncoordinated and pretty much useless when trying to play guitar hero. You might as well just be nubs with fingernails.
Love,
Lynna

Winter air

Dear winter air,
You make my skin very dry and flaky and you make my scalp itch like crazy and you are not helping the situation with my already dry, damaged hair. Also, you sometimes give me nosebleeds. You are also not welcome.
Love,
Lynna

Body hair

Dear body hair,
Although I appreciate the extra warmth and insulation during the cold months when I don't shave you, you are not welcome on my female body because you are disgusting.
Love,
Lynna