Hair

Dear hair,
Why didn't you tell me I was hurting you? You're not pretty..you've lost your shine and your softness and everything that allows people to know that you are hair, not just some disgusting roadkill that got glued to my scalp.
I know it's my fault that you aren't particularly attractive. You're not ugly, you're just...earthy.
Love,
Lynna

Lactose Intolerance

Dear lactose intolerance,
I don't really like tolerating you, but I do. Perhaps you could at least TRY to tolerate milk.
Love,
Lynna

Hangnail

Dear results of a torn hangnail,
You have been hurting and bothering me for a month...I'm pretty sure you had an infection at one point and that's gross.
You have effectively ruined everyday of my life since you happened.
Love,
Lynna

Grocery shopping

Dear grocery shopping,
I really hate that I have to do you all the time...like every other day. Because I can't stop my family from eating and using up paper products and various toiletries, I choose to not like you.
Your only redeeming quality is that I can have a solid 45 minutes of uninterrupted time with my iPod.
Love,
L-ynna

Pet hair

Dear pet hair,
You are all over my house, all over my clothes, all over my dinner table, in all my food, you have invaded my whole life. Of course I could blame the cat, but I really don't think she chose to shed everywhere, so instead I will blame you and the weak hair follicle that decided to let go of you. Grrr.
Love,
Lima

Sinus infection

Dear sinus infection,
I'm pretty sick of you and your phlegm..and the green snot. I'm also not a fan of not being able to breathe. You suck.
Love,
LynnnnnnnnnnNa

Suitcase "purse"

Dear purse,
You are so heavy and so big and many people make fun of me for carrying you. I wish you could magically get smaller and lighter. But I understand that I need you..my pockets just won't fit all the vital things I might one day need - like headphones.
Settle for a love/hate relationship?
Love/hate,
Lima Bean

Personality Flaw

Dear personality flaw,
Where did you come from? Why can't you be normal?
Love,
LLYYNNAA

Weather

Dear Iowa weather,
Twenty degrees below zero? How could you do that to the mailman? You are ridiculous and mean.
Love,
Lynna